Chapter 5 ~ Best Family Definately Biological Friends

 당신을 사랑합니다 ~ 私はあなたを愛して ~ je t'aime ~ te quiero ~ i cinta kau

i love you...
my Partner in crime..
my Midnight companion..
my Sister..
my Girlfriend..
 my Mom..
my Boss..
 my Teacher ..
my Priestess..
my Etiquette Teacher
my pillow
my conscience
my pillar

i freaking love you all to death all 12 of you guys!!you guys are like my world. it's not that you guys revolve around it's actually the other way around.

You made me, who I am now. without you guys, there wouldn't me here writing now. I would have probably passed away. I know, its shocking but it's the truth. I was in that bad of a situation but you guys scarified allot to help me survive and for that i owe you my life guys. no matter what, I'll try my best to help you guys.

I had a rough time when I was 16, well actually I hit rock bottom back then. I was diagnosed with Depression and school did a great job at making it hell of a worse. I was asked to sit at the back of the class beside a girl who never really was in class because of her prefect duties and the other side is a guy who sleeps throughout the entire school year. SO yeah, real helpful. And wait.. It gets better. Whenever, some guy makes a lame joke or gets in trouble. Guess who they tease him with? ME!! yesh, yours truly. And the fact that even the teachers took a chance to participate in this stupid act, it just.. brings tears to my eyes. (sarcasm)

Le previous conversation ~

random male classmate who is eating in class and clearly not paying attention to the teacher. Everything was going great until the teacher turns around and .." Haikal!! What are you doing ?!! You know what I should marry you off with ( insert my name) "

And the Haikal's friends joins in " yea dude, you should totally marry her. she would be a good fit for you. like both of you dark,fat and a matter-o-fact dumb!! hahaha"

Did you see that? did you ? Did you see, how incredibly idiotically, my teacher just brings up my name. When there wasn't a need to bring up my name and basically.. THAT WASN'T EVEN RELEVANT TO THE ISSUE. I mean what the hell does him by not paying attention in class does have anything  to do with  marrying off with some girl. I mean that just doesn't make any sense. DO correct me, if i am wrong.

Ergghh, the anger that I with held in me could not be described. I mean , if I was not depressed, I would have set fire to the school.I was that angry.  Like it's not the first time and certainly it wasn't the last. You have no idea how long did I have to go through with this. And this is just the surface, there was one time where guys in my school splashed water at my face and the other time where the were mocking about my size where I passed by. You have no idea, how tormented I am. I have been getting this treatment since I was 7. I have thought of suiciding, at the age of 10 and till now. 

My friends well I refer to them most of the time as my family, they saved me in my darkest moments. Like one of them, stayed back everyday just so I wouldn't be alone in school (cause i had allot of activities in the evening). When some people are depressed, they get sensitive and I was one of the victim. Whenever my friends bring up about crushes, like sometimes, they keep it a secret. I mean , come on my members group consists of 13 of us. You don't really expect us to tell repeat the same information again and again. 

So I don't blame them, but when they talk about secrets that they kept from me in front of me. Now that got me angry. Well it's kinda my fault too, I should have been more patient with them. I love them, and I have feel thankful for having them in my life. I'm sorry for all the things I said and have done that hurt you guys. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.  

    

When you are sad ...

I'll get you a chocolate and help you plot revenge again that asshole who made you sad.

When you are blue ...

I'll try to dislodge whatever that is chocking you

When you smile..

I'll know that your crush finally noticed you

When you are scared

I'll give you my courage but then tease you about it every chance i get

When you are worried...

i will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and anything else that comes to my mind for you to quit whining.

when you are confused..

I'll use little words to explain to you and end the explanation with  - dumb ass. haha

when you are sick..

stay away from me, cause if we are both sick who is gonna keep an eye on your crush at school?

When you fall..

I'll help you up after i finish laughing

When you're is on fire..

I'll be there ..not to help you but to hit on the firemen

when it's raining

don't worry I'll steal your umbrella .. just to see how fast you could run.

when you're in jail

I'm sorry, i couldn't be able to bail you out .. because I'll be there right beside in jail.

Most of all, I'll be there whenever you need me.

This is my oath, I pledge till the end . Why you ask ? because you're my best friend.

 You guys know, that you guys are my family right? But lately I'm worried.Since we are all growing up I'm scared that we would be apart soon. And I did realise it sooner but it came .. And it hurts.

No, I'm not joking . It seriously hurt me, to an extent where, when you replied me back that you don't like people talking bad about him and you forced me to delete my statement. I had difficulties in breathing like seriously, i can't believe that a guy is much important than your own friend. That his impression of you is much more important than me. I mean I'm hurt every time he even mentions that you are immature. it takes allot for me to keep quiet and not lash at him for saying that about you. But you? you took away my rights, my opinion for what ? a guy? seriously? a guy?!! you kidding me? 

Is this how we are ? If it was you, you talked about my crush like that, I would have WITHOUT no doubt stopped liking him. I would have been thinking " what the hell was I thinking ? how could I even like this guy?" I would have PLACED you above him. BECAUSE you were there, with me. NOT some guy. BECAUSE YOU KNOW ME MORE THAN MY CRUSH. BECAUSE, you are my family. And If it was HIM who posted something like that ABOUT ME, would you have done the same thing?

I know, I don't have the right to interfere in your personal life but by you keep on whining about how he calls you "immature" over stupid things. As if he's all grown up, he's not even finish with his studies, for god's sake. He acting as if he's some one's dad or something. I complaining here because he doesn't have the right to call you that. it may be OK for you and you may like that BUT I don't give a damn, who the hell he is. But if he calls or treats you like a kid. He's gonna get it in face. Yes, i am protective over my friends. I act like a force field or something around them. Maybe that's because I've been hurt allot and so I wish someone would've been there for me but there wasn't anyone so maybe that's why I become protective with you guys.   

I thought that's how things work? but unfortunately, you taught me things the hard way. I don't hate you, GOD knows i can't hate my own best friend. I love you and the rest of them to death. I'm just hurt, and I need time to compose myself again. But seriously it hurts to know that the guy who you just met over the net is much more important to you than the friend that you've known for years..

You're...

My Friend,

my companion,

through good times and bad

my friend, my buddy,

through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you're there to listen,
you're there to talk,
with happiness, with smiles,
with pain and tears,
I know you'll be there,
throughout the years!

For better or for worse,

And for the lack of better words
I end my speech right here,